The Remnant: An Eulogy for Clematis

Yea verily, and it came to pass that the Formerly Dread Clematii were smote full hard by their Nemesis, the Dread 'Clear-Cut' Mead, and they did flee unto former fastnesses, cowering in the shadows, in hopes of evading his e'er vigilant gaze. Little did they know that, while a short respite they might acheive, their sure and utter doom was even then approaching... Trowels, an item not previously discussed. Observe the four trowels laid out upon the compost bin lid; there is one thing they all have in common. They are bent where the handle meets the blade. These are the Remnant of all the Trowels my parents bought over the years, and full many times their number have failed completely, blades snapped free of handles, fallen in the wayside and of no use to man nor garden, a wasted proof of Foolish Economy. For while each cost but little, but little was how long they did last, and the o'er all expense far exceeds that which I now make to obtain their replacement, their True Master, the Dread Hori Hori Knife, ordered yester'eve from the Purveyor of Magnificent Tools themselves. Yea, although I walk through the very Garden of Clematis, I shall fear no Evil, for the Hori Hori Knife shall be with me, and with its 12" stainless steel blade, serrated on one edge and razor sharp on the other, I shall seek out their root mass and unearth them, severing those so far beneath the earth that should they e'er reach daylight they should be but small and paltry compared to their Former Dreadness, and should soon fall, exhausted, into that Final Slumber as e'er and again they be Severed from their Presumed Jointures of Sun and Earth and Water, ne'er to Torment man again. $28.50 plus Shipping $ Handling, A Princely Sum but far less than that paid by Mine Parents these many years past for Trowels which Trowel not. And that'll do for now. Post this Puppy!