Update on things

Well, it's about a year since Mom left home. She's in an Adult Foster Care facility in Olympia, with increasingly advanced Alzheimer's, and I don't call her anywhere near as much as I should. My difficulty making phone calls combined with not knowing what to talk about, and crying.

My grandparents' farm in Grand Ronde has sold, which relieves a great many monetary worries.

The current plan is to move me to someplace near Olympia, either Shelton or Centralia. My IRA combined with some of the funds from the farm and some budgeting will allow for a property up to $95,000.00, but lower is better, smaller mortgages are nice, more money for living. There are some nice properties available, but wanting a shop does limit things a bit. But I've bought too much shop stuff to not have a shop, don't want that money to have been for naught.

My sister, Beth, has done a great job dealing with things, I couldn't have done anywhere near so well, not with my broken brain. 15, 20 years ago, maybe, but not now. I just fear my own slow deterioration and that I need to get things lined up for when she'll need to take care of me, a number of years away still but I fear the day will come. Given we got Mom's power of attorney filled out and notarized at what turned out to be the last minute, and had a time getting the notary to agree Mom was fit to make such a decision, we shouldn't wait that long with me. Just glad when we did the power of attorney for mom that Beth was listed as the fall back, so when we determined I couldn't handle it we could just notarize my stepping aside in her favor, we wouldn't have been able to get a new power of attorney filed.

Anyway, once I'm moved, we look at selling this place that has been home since 1976. It's been homebase for 34 of my 50 years, and home for 25 of them. Mom knows where she lives; she lives here, in Portland, and she knows her son lives in the same building. So not seeing me bewilders her some, just like not seeing her is so strange, especially since the last several years I'd been supervising her meds and seeing her at least three times a day. I've spent a fair amount of the last year contacting organizations to get her off of their mailing lists, with good success except for Consumer Reports, which ignores all requests and doesn't respond to my emails, even though they claim to respond to all emails personally. I may be forced to call them on the phone, which is difficult for me, I freeze up and fear confrontations, don't deal well with real time at all these days. Which is where the property search activity so far has gone well, I've been able to do everything by email or the web.

I get out nearly every day, picking up trash surrounding the building, especially the covered bus shelter in front, so I get some fresh air. But other than that I stay inside except for going shopping or appointments. Which is really a change over how I used to be. Used to go for walks all the time. Used to go see people all the time. But I just don't get out. And don't want to depress people, so rather just fade into the past with good memories of me. Which is maybe not fair on my part, my friends, and they are friends, should be given the option rather than my just vanishing, but I've always been this way, it's part of my problems, not keeping in touch with people, not seeming to be capable of keeping in touch if not actively involved in doing something. It ties in with my disabilities, the inability to do things that don't grab my attention, so if nothing grabs my attention I don't do anything. Which is as bad as it sounds. My diet is fairly good at least, sleep is pretty good, spend my days at the computer, mainly the Whateley Academy Crystal Hall forums and wiki, the Whateley Academy stories catch my interest even after many rereads, don't get enough physical activity which is reflected in my blood pressure, listen to the local classical music station from waking until bed.

One thing I need to focus on now is entering the financial information from the Olympia bank account, so I can do Mom's taxes. But it has to grab my attention. I should position the files so I see them, that'd help. (pause) OK, just did that, we'll see if that helps, it should. Just like I need to remember that the gate to the side yard has fallen down and that I need to fix it. (pause) OK, post-it note put up.

I do as well as I do because so much can be done online these days, banking, bills, shopping. And my food shopping, I buy in bulk so I don't need to go out that often. A tank of gas lasts me most of a year at this point. That'll change once I move, will have further to travel to Costco and the food co-op, plus seeing my sister and mother. And who knows, if I get everything organized with enough space, I might become active again; get to where I can have people over again. I've still got the impressive library, although I seem to have given away my SCA publications, my old TIs and CAs, etc.

Guess that's all for now, thought I'd but some thoughts down, just to prove I was still here.