Why clothes never fit, or, I'm a mutant

I get tired of this.

My middle finger is 5/8 of an inch longer than the next longest finger, which makes gloves a problem. My big toe reaches to Alpha Centaurus, OK, so it's only 3/4 of an inch longer than the next toe, which makes shoes a bloody pain; they called me "Ape Toes" at camp [seriously, they did]. My arms are long for my shirt size, so either my wrists hang out for the whole world to see, or my shirt puffs out around my waist like a circus tent. My body is short in the torso, instead of worrying about Plumber's Butt my shirts end up blousing over my belt because they aren't divided for slipping down the legs; I need shirts divided like a Knight's surcoat, able to hang properly when mounted on a horse, that way they'd slip down my pants' legs properly. We won't discuss underwear.

Good thing I can sew. Bad thing the place isn't in shape for sewing. And making shoes is somewhat complicated.

I've complained this way before, haven't I? Pretty sure there's a previous post along this line. And pretty sure they'll be more of them to come.

Grumph grumph grumph

And a curmudgeonly good day to you, too!

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