'Greetings!'
"Maj. Stupidity was scheduled to give this talk, but he wasn't dumb enough.'
'First, let's sing our regimental song, dedicated to those gems of brilliance, the 2nd Lieutenants!'
All join in singing 'Louie Louie', extra credit for using the words generated by the FBI prior to the words being printed on the jacket liners.
'Excellent, none of you sang in the same key; you are a credit to the Corps!'
'My talk today is on safety, but first, march in review over that nearby suspension bridge; remember, KEEP IN STEP!'
Transcript ends following sounds of bridge vibrating apart as resonance frequency is reached...
****************
Safety. I've previously mentioned saws, and gloves, and fingers, and the lovely things that happen with a bad mix of the above. Writing this is taking a bit more effort than normal, as I have bandages on three fingers and thumb of my right hand.
So, no bleep, there I was, working on trimming twigs, etc., off the branches I'd removed from the Apple trees yesterday...
You only think you see what's coming, remember, Maj. Stupidity was too smart to give this talk...
Left hand is holding pruning saw, with lots of nasty sharp jagged teeth. Right hand is holding pull saw, used to cut thinner stock. Right hand brushes freshly cut branch to the left...
No, still not there, this is dumber still, Maj. Stupidity is too smart for this.
I'm wearing bicycling gloves. Bob Cratchet style bicycling gloves, the kind with no finger tips. The better to control what I'm doing while keeping my hands warm, as its wet outside...
I've no idea whatsoever how I avoided slicing my right index finger. But three knuckles and the ball of my thumb slid ever so smoothly along the pruning saw, thankfully not much pressure involved, small miracles happen.
I'm going to order proper safety gloves today.
Man, Gen. Incompetence may be too smart for this, I might be a 2nd Louie...
sound effect heard in the distance, a 'rim-shot'
2008-10-05
2008-10-03
Internet Resources I didn't know about, second in an ongoing series
So there I was, searching the Web for materials on Sewing Machine Maintenance, and lo and behold an ERIC document came up as a hit. "Huh," I went, "haven't thought about ERIC in years, wonder what this links to?"
If you followed the link, you found out, as I did, that it links to ED183837 - Military Curricula for Vocational & Technical Education. Sewing Machine Maintenance, 18-3; snappy title, what? And, get this, that had a link to the full text of said document. All 110 pages of it.
Mostly. A link to a PDF image of a microform document, which hadn't been well cared for, and it is very clear that they didn't clean the fiche and the fiche scanner properly either before or during the scan process. And the fiche wasn't COM [Computer Output Microform], it was made by photographing an already extant document, which was missing some pages [but nothing crucial, as the notes made by the folks producing the microfiche took care to note].
Think of it as a multi-generation photocopy of a training manual. With cruft. See the entry for cruft in the Jargon File, if not familiar with cruft. [If not familiar with the Jargon File, be ready to lose the next several hours as it grabs you and educates you while making you howl with laughter. The Jargon File is worthy of its own blog entry.]
But the nifty thing is that they're trying to make all the old ERIC documents available online, for free. No charges for accessing the things, none of this IEEE bait-and-switch abstract looks good but I got to pay umpteen bazillion dollars to find out if it really is what I'm looking for, no refund if it's not, same with ANSI and the other standards folks, hrmph!
Something being in ERIC doesn't make it public domain, but it does grant pre-DMCA fair use, the type beloved by librarians and researchers the world over. The idea behind ERIC was to create a repository for materials relating to science and education, with copies at all GovDoc depositories, so that the free flow of information relating to research, etc., not be impeded; just look at the name: Education Resources Information Center, ERIC. [Hmph. They changed the name. Now it's Institute of Education Sciences. Bunch of bloody revisionists. And to me that is a misleading name, makes you think it's some kind of school. Hmm, text of the bookmark is still the old name, guess they've just added it to the website as a sub-heading to the acronym; still misleading. 2017 09 15] It got a real boost when various tenure assessment programs decided ERIC Documents counted towards tenure; instead of paying to be included in some specialized journal which would be printed on the cheapest paper available, and cost your University Library as much as three staff members to obtain, ERIC would accept it and distributed it to all the major universities for you, on archival microform. Another boost was that being included in ERIC established copyright in a firm and tangible fashion, so even if you planned on submitting the snazzy write-up to The Journal of ... for proper peer-review and kudos, you'd send the initial write-up to ERIC to establish it as your work, so it was then safe to give talks about it at conferences prior to it appearing in said august journal.
Ignore the past-tense, ERIC is alive and growing, and has made the switch-over to the Internet with flying colors.
Check them out. Who knows, you might decide to submit something to them, yourself.
That's a wrap.
Post this Puppy!
Edit 2017 09 15: Added commentary on name changes at ERIC website. No link rot!
If you followed the link, you found out, as I did, that it links to ED183837 - Military Curricula for Vocational & Technical Education. Sewing Machine Maintenance, 18-3; snappy title, what? And, get this, that had a link to the full text of said document. All 110 pages of it.
Mostly. A link to a PDF image of a microform document, which hadn't been well cared for, and it is very clear that they didn't clean the fiche and the fiche scanner properly either before or during the scan process. And the fiche wasn't COM [Computer Output Microform], it was made by photographing an already extant document, which was missing some pages [but nothing crucial, as the notes made by the folks producing the microfiche took care to note].
Think of it as a multi-generation photocopy of a training manual. With cruft. See the entry for cruft in the Jargon File, if not familiar with cruft. [If not familiar with the Jargon File, be ready to lose the next several hours as it grabs you and educates you while making you howl with laughter. The Jargon File is worthy of its own blog entry.]
But the nifty thing is that they're trying to make all the old ERIC documents available online, for free. No charges for accessing the things, none of this IEEE bait-and-switch abstract looks good but I got to pay umpteen bazillion dollars to find out if it really is what I'm looking for, no refund if it's not, same with ANSI and the other standards folks, hrmph!
Something being in ERIC doesn't make it public domain, but it does grant pre-DMCA fair use, the type beloved by librarians and researchers the world over. The idea behind ERIC was to create a repository for materials relating to science and education, with copies at all GovDoc depositories, so that the free flow of information relating to research, etc., not be impeded; just look at the name: Education Resources Information Center, ERIC. [Hmph. They changed the name. Now it's Institute of Education Sciences. Bunch of bloody revisionists. And to me that is a misleading name, makes you think it's some kind of school. Hmm, text of the bookmark is still the old name, guess they've just added it to the website as a sub-heading to the acronym; still misleading. 2017 09 15] It got a real boost when various tenure assessment programs decided ERIC Documents counted towards tenure; instead of paying to be included in some specialized journal which would be printed on the cheapest paper available, and cost your University Library as much as three staff members to obtain, ERIC would accept it and distributed it to all the major universities for you, on archival microform. Another boost was that being included in ERIC established copyright in a firm and tangible fashion, so even if you planned on submitting the snazzy write-up to The Journal of ... for proper peer-review and kudos, you'd send the initial write-up to ERIC to establish it as your work, so it was then safe to give talks about it at conferences prior to it appearing in said august journal.
Ignore the past-tense, ERIC is alive and growing, and has made the switch-over to the Internet with flying colors.
Check them out. Who knows, you might decide to submit something to them, yourself.
That's a wrap.
Post this Puppy!
Edit 2017 09 15: Added commentary on name changes at ERIC website. No link rot!
2008-10-01
Clematis: Terrorist of the Botanical World
Yes, I say 'Terrorist!' Western White Clematis, when it has a choice between living on its own, or intertwining its rootstock with another's, will invariably choose to intermingle. 'Why, that's just being sociable,' you say, 'where's the terrorism in that?'
Collateral damage. By placing themselves as they do, it is not possible to remove them without endangering innocent plants, breaking branches and stems, straining, unearthing, destroying root structures. Just so do terrorists place themselves amongst the innocents of their own countries, that those whose righteous wrath is directed at them will hesitate to strike, for fear of injuring and alienating those who are deserving of their nurture, who are in their care. And at the same time they entwine themselves in the lives of these innocents, pulling them towards those who are in truth their enemies, cozening them with honeyed words until they clasp them to their bosoms and drink their poisoned lies, becoming twisted and stunted as that which is good is drawn away to serve the evil ones.
So does Clematis, rooting itself amongst others, entwining itself around them and using them to lift itself toward the stars themselves, stealing their light, strangling their limbs, and eventually obtaining their very deaths, all to the Greater Glory of Clematis! The gardener must harden their heart and act early, whilst Clematis' roots are yet shallow, whilst the least damage is done to those it would entangle with fine tendrils whose strength is as iron itself. The gardener must embrace the Greater Truth that Clematis will inevitably do far greater damage to these innocent plants than the gardener can possibly cause whilst battling Clematis, that the better part of valour is to strike early and decisively whilst the invader is still weak.
This requires diligence on the gardener's part, an ever-watchful eye, never relenting, for while Clematis spreads best via vine and root, yet still some seeds do fall on fertile ground and it spring up where it dwelt not before.
And the dread knowledge that there may be times when a mistake is made, where something superficially similar to Clematis at a stage in its growth will be seen as Clematis and be rent from the ground, only to then realize their error and weep bitter tears of remorse, knowing that naught they might do will bring back the innocent destroyed in error.
Such is the Evil that is Clematis.
Collateral damage. By placing themselves as they do, it is not possible to remove them without endangering innocent plants, breaking branches and stems, straining, unearthing, destroying root structures. Just so do terrorists place themselves amongst the innocents of their own countries, that those whose righteous wrath is directed at them will hesitate to strike, for fear of injuring and alienating those who are deserving of their nurture, who are in their care. And at the same time they entwine themselves in the lives of these innocents, pulling them towards those who are in truth their enemies, cozening them with honeyed words until they clasp them to their bosoms and drink their poisoned lies, becoming twisted and stunted as that which is good is drawn away to serve the evil ones.
So does Clematis, rooting itself amongst others, entwining itself around them and using them to lift itself toward the stars themselves, stealing their light, strangling their limbs, and eventually obtaining their very deaths, all to the Greater Glory of Clematis! The gardener must harden their heart and act early, whilst Clematis' roots are yet shallow, whilst the least damage is done to those it would entangle with fine tendrils whose strength is as iron itself. The gardener must embrace the Greater Truth that Clematis will inevitably do far greater damage to these innocent plants than the gardener can possibly cause whilst battling Clematis, that the better part of valour is to strike early and decisively whilst the invader is still weak.
This requires diligence on the gardener's part, an ever-watchful eye, never relenting, for while Clematis spreads best via vine and root, yet still some seeds do fall on fertile ground and it spring up where it dwelt not before.
And the dread knowledge that there may be times when a mistake is made, where something superficially similar to Clematis at a stage in its growth will be seen as Clematis and be rent from the ground, only to then realize their error and weep bitter tears of remorse, knowing that naught they might do will bring back the innocent destroyed in error.
Such is the Evil that is Clematis.
2008-09-30
Look! More pictures! Other stuff that grows in The Yard
As seen previously, there's this fern, well over 15 years old
Asparagus, I believe, going to seed; we haven't planted any since 2000 at the latest...
Mint. Almost as pervasive as Clematis, but nowhere as obnoxious; a good neighbor, plays well with others.
Mint in Bloom.
Wild Pea, attempts to be Clematis but doesn't quite make it; it is on the list...
I know, it's the 30th, the pictures are from the 24th, so sue me already.
OH, important stuff, tomorrow I get my eyes checked for the first time in like, say, five years? I suspect I'll shortly have new glasses, now to find a style that doesn't slip down my nose and out of proper position, and doesn't irritate the ears. *snort* Maybe I'll just get sports spectacles for everyday use...
Post dis Puppy!
A picture is worth a thousand words, wherefore let us be brief...
At last! What was underneath all the Blackberries and Clematis, anyway?
Just how large was that Blackberry root?
(HINT: Knife is 32cm end to end)
LOOK! Still more Clematis striving to be free!
Brief is as brief does.
Post this Puppy!
Just how large was that Blackberry root?
(HINT: Knife is 32cm end to end)
LOOK! Still more Clematis striving to be free!
Brief is as brief does.
Post this Puppy!
2008-09-29
Do nor ask for whom the Clematis grows...
...it grows for thee!
One of these days I'll write Fin to the Clematis, but not quite yet.
Its been good growing weather lately, everything that might grow this time of year is, so after working on dismembering Apple prunings for a while I decided it was time to do another walk about the yard to see if anything was growing as shouldn't, like Clematis.
It looked pretty good. Former strongholds and fastnesses showed no green, no growth, and thus seem safe. And still I looked, hither and yon, seeking that telltale distinctive shade of green, that shape of leaf, the jointed stem, anything which would say 'this way Clematis dwells, fear and tremble ye mighty,' and no sign did I see.
Yet still did I seek. And as is written, 'Seek and ye shall find,' I sought and I found. Seven did I find, some scarce showing above the surface, only the tinge of Evil making them perceptible, some more boldly did stand forth, growing anew in ancient fastnesses, sheltered amongst branches from Apple prunings seven years past, thinking them adequate to hold back my righteous wrath. Carefully did I clear the ground about them, to uncover any tendrils they might have sent forth to establish forward encampments, concealed colonies, covert concentrations of corruption to fester until they might burst and spew forth their strangler's stems and once again do battle for the very soul of the yard! But for naught did they plot in their leafy fortresses, for full deep did I thrust my Hori-Hori blade, wide about did I dig, and with strength combined with delicacy did I draw them out from their redoubts and boldly did I stride to the Yard Debris bin and cast them forth, out of the garden, that they might die in heat and darkness and never more disturb the tranquility of the yard.
And now, closer seems the day when I shall be able tell of The Last Dangerous Clematis, when I shall know that they be dealt their last blow, struck down and driven forth, never to darken the surface of the yard again.
One of these days I'll write Fin to the Clematis, but not quite yet.
Its been good growing weather lately, everything that might grow this time of year is, so after working on dismembering Apple prunings for a while I decided it was time to do another walk about the yard to see if anything was growing as shouldn't, like Clematis.
It looked pretty good. Former strongholds and fastnesses showed no green, no growth, and thus seem safe. And still I looked, hither and yon, seeking that telltale distinctive shade of green, that shape of leaf, the jointed stem, anything which would say 'this way Clematis dwells, fear and tremble ye mighty,' and no sign did I see.
Yet still did I seek. And as is written, 'Seek and ye shall find,' I sought and I found. Seven did I find, some scarce showing above the surface, only the tinge of Evil making them perceptible, some more boldly did stand forth, growing anew in ancient fastnesses, sheltered amongst branches from Apple prunings seven years past, thinking them adequate to hold back my righteous wrath. Carefully did I clear the ground about them, to uncover any tendrils they might have sent forth to establish forward encampments, concealed colonies, covert concentrations of corruption to fester until they might burst and spew forth their strangler's stems and once again do battle for the very soul of the yard! But for naught did they plot in their leafy fortresses, for full deep did I thrust my Hori-Hori blade, wide about did I dig, and with strength combined with delicacy did I draw them out from their redoubts and boldly did I stride to the Yard Debris bin and cast them forth, out of the garden, that they might die in heat and darkness and never more disturb the tranquility of the yard.
And now, closer seems the day when I shall be able tell of The Last Dangerous Clematis, when I shall know that they be dealt their last blow, struck down and driven forth, never to darken the surface of the yard again.
2008-09-28
Apple Pruning and wood accumulation
Given the proper species of Apple, seven years growth on an adult tree can generate very straight 12'+ lengths of wood, significant portions of which have respectable girth.
I do own a spokeshave, maybe I should turn out some quarterstaves...
Anyway, I'm looking at a lot of hardwood here, much of it straight enough and thick enough that while I don't see what I'd use it for, I'm disinclined to give it the heave-ho provided I get it processed for storage promptly. If nothing else I'll have tons of nice dowel stock.
I also own a 12" thickness planer, down the line after the wood has seasoned I could rig up a sled and plane them flat, then see about laminating or pinning them together... could create cutting boards if nothing else, or a table top, or something.
I think I have my work cut out for me this week... or that I'll spend the week cutting out work for me... didn't figure a way to phrase that for a true groaner, sorry!
In regard to the potential table/desk carcase, yep, it'd work, one problem. It weighs a ton, and moving it onto the porch or inside isn't something I can do on my own, so right now it looks like a table in the yard is in my future. I should really take a picture of everything right now and post, it is again a case of not recognizing the yard when compared to previous incarnations of yardness. When I finish pruning there will be no question about the existence of a house behind the Apple trees. There will also be no question about the existence of a Walnut tree which needs to be taken down, I don't like its position in relation to said house, it'll be somewhat tricky given the direction it leans, will require careful topping and delimbing prior to the main trunk. And then I'll have Walnut as well as Apple to work with.
Too bad the Filbert volunteers never seem to make it, they're the ones I try to save! But no, Oaks and Walnuts, and Maples, and Holly, and some others I've yet to identify, but the Filberts just seem too fragile. Pity.
Mind blanking out.
Post this Puppy!
I do own a spokeshave, maybe I should turn out some quarterstaves...
Anyway, I'm looking at a lot of hardwood here, much of it straight enough and thick enough that while I don't see what I'd use it for, I'm disinclined to give it the heave-ho provided I get it processed for storage promptly. If nothing else I'll have tons of nice dowel stock.
I also own a 12" thickness planer, down the line after the wood has seasoned I could rig up a sled and plane them flat, then see about laminating or pinning them together... could create cutting boards if nothing else, or a table top, or something.
I think I have my work cut out for me this week... or that I'll spend the week cutting out work for me... didn't figure a way to phrase that for a true groaner, sorry!
In regard to the potential table/desk carcase, yep, it'd work, one problem. It weighs a ton, and moving it onto the porch or inside isn't something I can do on my own, so right now it looks like a table in the yard is in my future. I should really take a picture of everything right now and post, it is again a case of not recognizing the yard when compared to previous incarnations of yardness. When I finish pruning there will be no question about the existence of a house behind the Apple trees. There will also be no question about the existence of a Walnut tree which needs to be taken down, I don't like its position in relation to said house, it'll be somewhat tricky given the direction it leans, will require careful topping and delimbing prior to the main trunk. And then I'll have Walnut as well as Apple to work with.
Too bad the Filbert volunteers never seem to make it, they're the ones I try to save! But no, Oaks and Walnuts, and Maples, and Holly, and some others I've yet to identify, but the Filberts just seem too fragile. Pity.
Mind blanking out.
Post this Puppy!
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